Davina Dupree Puzzles a Pirate Read online

  ‘Nope,’ a heavily set pirate stepped out from behind a sail as Scar Cheek pulled up the anchor, The Black Tide creaking off over the water. I recognised him from last night as the head pirate who gave the orders. My annoying heart beat faster in case he threw us over board or did something else mean and piratey. ‘You’ll find none of that behaviour aboard The Black Tide. It’s nice to meet you my dears, my name’s Captain Bones and I’m genuinely sorry for any inconvenience caused. Personally I was thinking it was tea and cake time. Care to join me?’

  I’ve got to go now Diary, Captain Bones has just finished arranging a selection of yummy cakes and drinks on his study table and he’s signalling for us to come over. To tell you the truth, I am feeling a bit peckish. I hope he’s got a few vegetables for Thorny...

  Afternoon, Tuesday 13th January

  Arrr, Diary!

  The last few hours have been very eye opening indeed.

  Basically, after we’d polished off the UNBELIEVABLY SCRUMMY triple chocolate cake, raspberry meringues and homemade fudge that Captain Bones had kindly laid out for us together with several glasses of fizzy melon juice and a cup of tea each, Arabella and I had both decided that Captain Bones was a good sort of man, even if he was a pirate. He was delighted by Thorny and ordered Scar Cheek to find him some broccoli and cauliflower to eat at once.

  We were sitting round the Captain’s table, sipping a special pirate brew of honey, rum and herbs that he swore would help clear up our colds.

  ‘So you help old pirates do their shopping?’ Arabella said, wiping her mouth.

  ‘Arrr,’ Captain Bones agreed loudly, slapping his leather trousered thigh. ‘I’ve made friends with most of the folk on Ma and Pa’s Retirement Ship so they tells me what they want and I go and plunder it.’

  ‘Plunder?’ I raised my eyebrows, stroking Thorny who’d fallen asleep on my knee.

  ‘Well, buy, mostly. From the floating supermarket,’ Captain Bones gave a sheepish grin. ‘Piratin’ aint what it used to be, matey. We roll with the times, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘Yes, I certainly never expected to see a forty two inch television on board a pirate ship,’ Arabella got up and strode over to it. ‘Hey, isn’t that Erica’s DVD player on the shelf beneath the TV?’

  ‘Um,’ Captain Bones cleared his throat. ‘Yes it is, to be honest. We have to keep up our reputation somehow you know, matey, and since we gave up proper plundering a few years back, selling a few of our precious Kapatoo birds to breeders like Mr Snap and accepting some stolen goods in return doesn’t seem too–‘

  ‘What?’ Arabella and I shouted at the same time.

  ‘Kapatoo birds, Captain Bones?’ I said, leaning across the table towards him. ‘Did you really just say you not only have some but that you’ve sold some to Mr Snap?’

  ‘Yes lass,’ Captain Bones looked taken aback at the sudden serious change in us. ‘Them Kapatoo’s are our pride and joy. We look after them very well and we hate sellin’ them but when the bills are comin’ up, after all it aint cheap now we have internet connection and everythin’, we don’t mind sellin’ a couple to nice fellas like Mr Snap. Like I say, we have to be seen accepting some stolen goods now and then or the piratin’ community would laugh at us.’

  ‘Nice?’ Shrieked Arabella. ‘Mr Snap’s not NICE, he stole from our friends.’

  ‘And acquaintances,’ I said, thinking of Clarice and Cleo.

  ‘I know and I’m sorry about that mateys,’ the Captain’s cheeks flushed pink. ‘I didn’t know when I made that deal, that youz lot were such fine and friendly lasses.’

  ‘And why did Mr Snap want to buy Kapatoos in the first place?’ I said, suddenly remembering the rows of desolate cages we’d found on Ni Island when Thorny ran away. ‘How do you know he’ll look after them?’

  ‘Well he’s a rich man for starters aint he?’ Captain Bones asked. ‘What with owning Ni Island and –‘

  ‘He doesn’t OWN Ni Island!’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘I’m afraid Mr Snap has lied to you, Captain Bones. Ni Island is owned by our headmistress’s good friend the Duke of Westchester, who would have come on this trip only he had to go away suddenly. Ohhhh,’ I breathed, a horrible thought popping into my head. ‘You don’t think Mr Snap has kidnapped the Duke of Westchester do you?’

  ‘What, you think Mr Snap has been lying all along, maybe even about being the Duke’s butler, just so he can steal from us and get his hands on some Kapatoo birds?’ A scarlet colour whooshed across Arabella’s face. One thing she particularly hates in life is lying.

  ‘I reckon if he’s underhand enough to steal from us and break Mrs Fairchild’s trust, he’s sneaky enough to do anything,’ I said grimly. ‘Look, Captain Bones, there’s something we need to tell you about that might change your mind about selling any more Kapatoo birds to Mr Snap.’

  ‘I’m all ears, matey,’ Captain Bones leaned in.

  ‘One day when we were exploring the island, trying to find specimens for our geography project, we stumbled across a hidden lair full of abandoned dirty cages. A depressed cheeping noise was coming from further inside the lair but Thorny here ran off before we had time to investigate what was going on and to be honest I was glad to get out of there as the whole place was giving me the creeps.’

  ‘And me,’ Arabella nodded vigorously. ‘Whoever owns those cages is no animal or bird lover, that’s for sure. They were dirty and smelly with clumps of feathers stuck in parts of the bars. You haven’t sold Mr Snap any Kapatoo birds before by any chance, have you?’

  Captain Bones slammed both fists down hard on the table.

  ‘ARRRR!’ He yelled, making me jump about a foot in the air. ‘Yes we HAVE sold him Kapatoos before, on three separate occasions – a male and a female each time. He always seemed so nice, sayin’ he loved birds and kept them in excellent conditions back at his mansion, only breeding them to sell a few baby Kapatoos to aristocracy around the world who wanted an endangered, nearly extinct bird as a pet. If he’s harmed even a single feather on just one of those bird I’m tellin’ yez I’ll keelhaul him round the world. I’ll-‘

  ‘Calm down, Captain Bones,’ I said, putting my hands on top of his huge, quivering ones. ‘The best thing we can do now is to find Mr Snap and save the Kapatoos. Also, Mrs Fairchild might be wondering where Arabella and I are by now so we should probably let her know we’re safe.’

  ‘Yez a smart lass, Davina,’ Captain Bones roared, standing up and nearly knocking the table over. ‘You too, Arabella. We’ll change course right away and set sail back towards Ni Island. The wind’ll be against us but we’re only a few hours away. Woe betide that bilge rat Snap if I catch him mistreatin’ me precious Kapatoo’s. ARRRR! Meat Chomper! Skull Crusher! Scar Cheek! Jaw Thumper! Tongue Gasher! Flesh Slicer! All of yez, come here right now, there’s been a change of plan...’

  Later That Evening, Tuesday 13th January

  Shiver me timbers, Diary, I can’t believe what’s happened!

  As we sailed back towards Ni Island, Scar Cheek at the helm and the rest of the pirates staring out to sea, Captain Bones offered to take Arabella and I up to the Kapatoos private chamber. OF COURSE we accepted at once, really looking forward to meeting the mysterious Kapatoo species that was, after all, at the centre of all the drama. We all trudged up the stairs to the top deck, coming to a small landing with a closed wooden door.

  ‘Wow!’ Arabella breathed as Captain Bones carefully opened the door and ushered us in, her mouth flopping open, goldfish style. Personally I couldn’t even speak. I’d never seen anything like the sight that lay before me.

  About twenty Kapatoos were waddling, sitting, eating or clucking contentedly inside a glass panelled hall that spanned the entire top deck of the pirate ship. Exotic looking trees grew out of sandbanks and earth that covered the floor and split level wooden huts, slides, platforms and ramps created a low village style living area for the birds. Small bowls of colourful seeds lay scattered about and metal containers f
ull of water hung securely from several parts of the wall. The Kapatoos themselves were cuddly looking creatures with intelligent eyes and beautiful, colourful feathers. They were able to make quite a range of unusual noises, some of which sounded almost like singing. Several came up to Captain Bones and head butted him happily on the legs, their large feet flapping out in front of them.

  ‘Not too shabby, eh mateys?’ Captain Bones said, bending down to stroke his pets, obviously pleased with our stunned reactions.

  ‘You obviously love these birds very much,’ I said, feeling a new respect for the captain.

  ‘Arr that I do, lass,’ Captain Bones said, picking one up. ‘Built this livin’ area for them with my own bare hands. Just wanted to protect them from them horrible hunters that kept arriving to shoot the Kapatoos for their unusual feathers.’

  Thorny jumped out of Arabella’s arms and helped himself to a few seeds. A Kapatoo waddled over to inspect him and the two creatures greeted each other with a series of grunts.

  ‘He likes it here, I reckon,’ the captain beamed.

  ‘Land ahoy!’ Came a muffled shout from Scar Cheek. Captain Bones went over to one of the glass panels and stared out.

  ‘It won’t be long till we’re back on Ni Island, lasses,’ he said grimly. We joined him at the window and I could just make out a shadowy mass of land in the dark winter gloom. ‘And I have an idea of what we’ll do when we get there. Now listen carefully...’

  Wednesday, 14th January

  What a day, Diary.

  So basically, we eventually dropped The Black Tide’s anchor a few hundred metres away from Ni Island yesterday evening and were rowed ashore by Meat Chomper, marvelling at the tattoos he has all over his muscly arms. Captain Bones had tried to make Arabella and I stay aboard the pirate ship for our own safety but we said no way, so he agreed we could come. I can’t pretend my heart wasn’t banging like a loud drum between my ribs though, especially when we got out of the boat and walked up the beach towards the black shadows of the undergrowth. All the pirates were there, SO angry at the thought of their beloved Kapatoo birds being badly treated, but me and Arabella actually felt safer with them there, because we now knew they were nice people.

  Arabella was worried that we wouldn’t be able to find the lair again, but little Thorny saved the day. He must have picked up familiar scents as we walked up the beach because he suddenly looked up, squeaked, jumped out of my arms and waddled off. We all followed him, Captain Bones shining the soft light of his torch on the little Conich so we wouldn’t lose him in the dark. Sure enough, Thorny led us all the way to his burrow, which happened to be very near the spooky lair. I recognised the dull glint of the abandoned, dirty cages by the light of the torch.

  ‘We’re here,’ I whispered. ‘Look, there are the cages we told you about.’

  ‘Arrr,’ the captain yelled. ‘Come on men, charge!’

  The group of big, muscly pirates pushed forwards through the opening to the lair, with the rest of the pirates turning on their head torches as they ran, so that the whole area suddenly became awash with illumination.

  Arabella and I crept forwards behind them, passing the smelly, empty cages, wondering what on earth was going to happen next.

  ‘I’ve found the nasty bilge rat!’ Scar Cheek’s voice roared through the night air.

  ‘Get your hands OFF ME,’ came Mr Snap’s voice. We rounded a corner to be greeted by the sight of Mr Snap being held high up in the air by three pirates, who were shouting “Arrrr” in an excited way. Captain Bones and the other pirates were working their way round a large semi-circle of stacked cages, releasing dozens of stunned, shabby looking Kapatoo birds onto the dirty sawdust that was scattered in clumps across the earth floor.

  ‘You LIAR!’ Captain Bones roared in Mr Snap’s direction, picking up a thin bird with patchy feathers and cuddling it. ‘You told me you was a bird lover, that were goin’ to keep my birds in luxury surroundin’s. It’s worse than a pigsty here, it’s disgustin’!’

  ‘Well you’re a fool for believing me,’ Mr Snap screamed. ‘I need money, not a load of posh birds. I’ve been over breeding them for years, then selling them to anyone who wants one through cheap sites on the internet. Put me down you thugs!’

  In response, the three pirates shouted “Arrr” and threw him in the air, catching him easily.

  ‘You’re a good-for-nothin’ CRIMINAL,’ Captain Bones shouted, gently placing the Kapatoo on the floor and going over to more cages. By now Arabella and I had joined in with the rescue, opening cages and stroking the sweet heads of the owly looking birds who were very shaky on their feet and looked extremely dazed and confused. ‘You’ve got over A HUNDRED Kapatoos here, you rotter. There’s no WAY you’ve bred them safely, you’ve put yer own greedy need for money before my Kapatoos’ health and happiness. I tells yer what, I’m goin’ to keelhaul you round the world five times. I’m goin’ to throw yer to the sharks. I’m goin’ to-‘

  ‘You’re going to come and have a nice cup of tea and calm down, Ernest, once you’ve finished rescuing your birds,’ came a quiet, powerful voice from behind me.

  ‘Mrs Fairchild!’ I shouted, turning and giving her a massive bear hug. She was so light I lifted her right off her feet.

  ‘Hello Davina, nice to see you Arabella,’ Mrs Fairchild said. ‘Put me down dear, there’s a good sort.’ I did so, it was like putting down a doll. ‘I trust Captain Bones and his men have been treating you exceptionally well?’ She went on, smoothing down her frilly dress. ‘I know your mother, do I not, Ernest, and I’m sure she’d have a lot to say if she heard you’re now going around kidnapping school girls?’

  ‘Don’t tell Ma, Mrs Fairchild,’ Captain Bones went bright red, suddenly looking more like an ashamed school boy than a swashbuckling pirate. ‘I’m so sorry about the kidnappin’, we believed this pile of bilge, Mr Snap, when he said you lot were snobby and spoilt and that it would do you good to be shaken up a bit.’

  ‘Always listen to your own heart, Ernest, not to anyone else’s,’ Mrs Fairchild said sternly.

  ‘Yes Mrs Fairchild, from now on I’ll do that,’ Captain Bones nodded his head up and down.

  ‘Excellent,’ Mrs Fairchild said, her serious face breaking into a grin. ‘I’ve played bridge with his mother, Mrs Bones, for years now,’ she whispered to Arabella and I as she joined in with the rescue. ‘When Mr Fossil – in a complete panic I might add - told me you two had gone missing while he was out searching for Kapatoos, I guessed Ernest would have something to do with it. You see, I recognised his boat the other day when that pirate ship was spotted on the way to Ni Island. Mrs Bones says he’s always getting up to mischief and that he’s like a puppy, bless him, all bounce and no bite, although it doesn’t do him any harm to get told off every now and again.’

  ‘Right, let’s make a plan,’ she turned to the assembled throng, Mr Snap still held aloft above the pirates’ heads, his twisted face looking downright furious. The Kapatoos were now all free, and either wandered aimlessly, or sat staring into space. ‘These poor birds obviously need lots of care and attention,’ she shot Mr Snap a very disappointed look. ‘May I suggest that you pirates organise some way to transport them over to our camp. Egmont girls are very caring and I have a feeling they’d love to help nurse these lovely creatures back to good health. It looks like you could do with some help, as there are rather a lot of them!’

  ‘Good idea,’ Captain Bones roared, going back to his old self. ‘What shall we do with this rotter, Mrs Fairchild?’ He gestured towards Mr Snap. ‘Tie him up and throw him in the sea?’

  ‘No dear, tie him up and bring him to our camp too, I think,’ Mrs Fairchild smiled. ‘I’ll phone the Police Department of the Seven Seas to let them know what’s been going on, and I’m sure they’ll love to come and collect Mr Snap, once they hear what he’s been up to.’

  ‘Right. Meat Chomper, you and Skull Crusher row back to the ship and collect the trailer. We’ll be able to tow the Kapatoos
in that. Put lots of cushions and food in it, mind, I want those birds to be treated with the respect they deserve from now on. Scar Cheek, you’re in charge of tying up the bilge rat and takin’ him back to Mrs Fairchild’s camp with the rest of the lads. Personally, I’m going to escort these three lovely ladies back there meself.’

  Mrs Fairchild took his arm and walked back with him all the way. They looked so funny together, little and large!

  I’ve got to go now Diary, Mrs Fairchild’s just called an assembly and I have a feeling she’s about to explain to all the girls exactly what’s been going on...

  Thursday, 15th January

  A happy ending, Diary.

  Mrs Fairchild’s news caused SUCH a stir among the first years yesterday morning! She told them all about nasty Mr Snap and what he was REALLY up to, how he was the thief and had asked the pirates to kidnap me and Arabella because he thought we knew too much after we saw him swap loot with the pirates. She told them all about how the pirates were really rather nice, even if they did do silly things sometimes. The biggest surprise, especially for Mr Fossil, who’s been walking round looking like he’s just won the lottery ever since, was when she told everyone about the Kapatoo birds. She explained how much the pirates loved them and how they’d been giving them to Mr Snap, thinking he was a bird loving responsible breeder but how in actual fact he was being mean and naughty, over breeding the birds to make lots of money, and neglecting them, keeping them cramped up in dirty cages.

  When Mrs Fairchild asked if anyone would like a Kapatoo bird to take care of over the next few days, (they’re currently living with Captain Bones in Mr Snap’s old tent which has been turned into a Kapatoo luxury hotel), literally EVERYONE put their hands up!

  Cleo and Clarice were almost sick when Mrs Fairchild gave me and Arabella a special mention, saying how brave we were, being kidnapped then helping to rescue the birds. Clarice went pale and put her hand over her mouth and Cleo turned and stared at us, looking SO stunned and upset. I heard them whispering about how boring and good we always are but I don’t care, I know we did the right thing.